A Complaint about Complaining
Just a little something I’ve noticed that is probably so ubiquitous it doesn’t even phase us anymore. Complaining and not doing. It’s rampant.
I’m getting irritated by the number of people who complain about the hardships of life…why certain things aren’t their fault…if only “this” had happened instead of “that”…the unfairness of it all. I do it too…in fact I’m complaining in a post about complaining. See? It’s everywhere.
It’s time to quit complaining or digging up the past to support our right to bitch…and start doing anything else that will get us moving in the direction we think we want to go. Call them goals…dreams…aspirations. You’re not going to get there by complaining.
So what can we do?
There is an infinite number of things we can do besides sitting in our lonely spot…pissed or scared or panicked. Take a walk…listen to our favorite song…write in a journal…visit a lonely somebody…draw a picture…jeez buy a duck and knit it a sweater…but do something! Pick anything except revisiting the reason for your sorry spot.
Dip your toe in those waters…doing something/anything…and repeat and repeat and one day you’ll find yourself knee-deep in a new life. Know what else? The strength you exhibited in getting there will help you when the next unplanned turn in the road shows up. (You know as well as I that those detours always show up.)
It don’t come easy.
It’s not easy to get up and start moving when everything seems so fruitless, believe me I know. I was paralyzed for over a year after Laura’s diagnosis because I was carrying around a head that was filled with several thousand pounds of, “Poor me,” “How?” “Why?” and “This can’t be happening!” There was no room for anything else and so I was stuck.
I look back now and realize that my little book…and this blog…and those first sorry-ass walks alone…as hard as they were to take…helped me see that physical movement can and does help us untangle our emotional straight jackets. Unfortunately it’s not an instantaneous fix…and you may ask how baking a cake will take you from this place to that one…but I’m telling you it works.
It’s in the cards.
I suppose this is ubiquitous too: it’s not about the hand we are dealt in this life…it’s how we play it that counts. Are you going to sit there and complain about your sh*tty hand…or are going to start playing the game with what you have? It’s your choice. Don’t complain if you hold onto your cards and never win. (And that concludes today’s self-righteous lecture.)
Did you ever notice that most complaints have to do with something that has happened or something that is going to happen? The key to complaintless living is to live in the present – not easy to do – but many great spiritual leaders stress living in the here and now – letting go of the past and not worrying about the future. This can be accomplished – one moment at a time – and only one moment at a time. The benefit of this kind of living is peace and appreciation of all that surrounds you. The present is God’s “present” to us all.
That is very well put, Kirk. How come you can say that in so few words? I get so long-winded (as you can tell). But it’s true…living in the present moment makes all the difference. AND…it is extremely hard for some reason. I wonder why that is? Regardless I really appreciate your insight and the fact that you would write them down here. Take care!
I just heard this one – I know you would like it:
For years, I focused only on what do I need to DO. I should have spent more time on who do I need to BE.
wowser – talk about hitting the nail on the head eh?
Talk to you soon my thoughful friend.