One of the “gifts” that comes from living with incurable cancer is that you really and completely “get” how short life is. Not just “a” life…buy my life. As in, “The guy without the cancer has a short time on earth too.” I get it…I feel it…I’m experiencing it…and I’m not afraid of that reality. There is liberation when you achieve that understanding…that life is short…so quit looking over your shoulder and live where ever you happen to be right now. (Good or bad…)Yeah…wow…good call, Lao Tse. Gotta’ any tricks in that bag for me?
I’m flattered by all the people who say I’m strong in this mess…because I’m not. I’m neither weak nor strong…I’m just a guy who stumbled on a few truisms that have changed the way I approach life…and I know they can do the same for you. This is the first time I’ve written them out for other people…and I have to admit it seems a little self-important. But I also get the, “I don’t know how you do it.” question/statement and I figure maybe I can explain how I do it…so maybe you can too. Here you go:
Cut the Sh*t…Be Where You Are…and Sing Your Ass Off!
First…drop the notion that life is about getting more sh*t than the next guy. Operating under the influence of this all-too-common goal is a sure way to an anxious life. I like stuff as much as the next guy…and I’ve been blessed to have my fair share of it…but I’m not busting ass anymore to stay ahead of the pack. As my dad used to say, “You never saw hearse pulling a U-Haul.” Stop chasing after stuff…you’ll feel lighter for it.
Second…be where you are…even if it sucks. Accepting your present situation and living there is the easiest hard thing you’ll ever do. Notice I didn’t say STAY where you are…that’s an impossibility. Instead…assess and experience your present circumstances and with full attention take action (or no action if that’s what you decide) andlive it as you do so. Be aware as you gut your way through each progressive day. The lessons you learn from the dark times create a pathway to wisdom. Wise people are not afraid of making the wrong choice…(If you are in love with where you are now pay attention and savor it. Don’t be afraid of losing it…that’s future-think…which distracts you from the freedom of today. )
Third…mentally play “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” as much as you can and deal with that fact. You can’t watch or read enough motivational speakers to change this truth. I’m not suggesting you stop striving for the brass ring…but just know that sometimes no matter how hard you try you won’t get it. Adopting this attitude will help you know “when to say when” and consider a different approach…or maybe shoot for a different ring altogether.
Contrary to what our culture would have us believe life is NOT one big party for most people. I don’t need to tell you that. But it can and should be great…because as far as I can tell this is the only life I will live as Andy Koehn. Good or bad as I define it…I will not waste my Thirty Seconds…and I’d rather you didn’t either. So Cut the Sh*t…Be Where You Are…and Sing Your Ass Off!
Ladies and Gentlemen…The Rolling Stones.
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Great advice Andy and yes I agree with it all. I think it’s a good reminder for each and every one of us.
Thanks for the comment, Sandi. Did you watch the video? I love those guys. Take care and stay cool!
I really feel in the moment when I’m driving and a favorite song comes on the radio. I can let loose, speed up a bit, sing loud and let the song take me back to that one place in my mind where I’m always happy.
Great post, great new layout.
Glad you like the new layout…and the post, Molly. Thanks for checking it out. I think “singing your ass off” can be a metaphor for living, huh? I appreciate the follow BTW. Take care.
A
Ah! You’re here now — moving blogs…
Right on, Andy, right on.
And thanks for your email.
Agnes…right on is right! You’ve just validated me. (Betcha’ didn’t know you had that power.) Sing your ass off today…despite the current going’s on for you. Try it…grab a hair brush…put on something nuts…turn it up…and sing loud and proud. I’m heading the hospital…and I’m going to quite a sight to anyone who passes me on the highway.
Thanks!
A
PS–I’m adding the link to your site later in the day!
I would say you are the opposite of self-important. I am grateful you share all you’re learning.
And as for that video….vintage, classic Stones….Brian Jones was still in the band! Love it!