I’m not a afraid of being afraid anymore.  I respect fear…and it’s time I make friends with it because I don’t think it’s trying to hurt me…I think it’s here to help me.  We’ve all heard that the only thing to fear is fear itself.  Yeah…I don’t believe that anymore.  I think the only thing we have to fear is the things we conjure up in our heads that keep us from looking at what we’re afraid of in the first place.

I have come to the conclusion that fear dictates nearly everything I do.  I don’t want to sound like a “you-know-what” by saying that because it’s served me well up to this point.  In fact…my fears propel me to take action…or not…depending on what I want my :30 seconds to be.  In hindsight many of the “good” things I enjoy in life are the result of fears assessed and acted upon…or not.  Interesting.

Let’s Dance.

Let’s say I want to learn how to do the Irish dancing thing.  (I don’t.  It doesn’t appeal me to me at all.  I like to watch it…but that’s about it.  It’s kind of a funny example though.)

If I was going to do that I would want to be good at it…so I would start thinking about signing up for a class.  Right about that time fear would creep in and if I have the presence of mind to ask myself what I’m afraid of I would probably come up with these  answers:  ”I’m going to look stupid,” or “My friends are going to laugh at me,” or “I can’t afford those lessons,” stuff like that.

If I really think about those things and decide that I’m afraid of them coming true I might decide not to take the class and be done with it.  In essence I will NOT act. (Which is an act in itself but let’s not get started on that, ‘kay?)

OR

I might find that there is another fear that supercedes all of the above…and it’s a really powerful one: If I don’t take those classes I will probably never Irish dance…and I will deny something inside me that is dying to make my :30 seconds full and rich.  So I will ACT in this case…against my smaller fears…and take those classes so I can learn how to dance my ass off despite what people may think.  (I happen to think I would look very cool in that shiny black shirt.)

To Act or Not to Act? That is the Question…Before the Other Questions.

That is the ultimate question as far as our response to fear is concerned:

Am I going to do anything about it…or not?

We probably have to be honest about being afraid of things in the first place because it’s not a very popular admission these days.  Ironic isn’t it?  I’m suggesting we not be afraid of saying we’re afraid…and I’m beginning to think I have no idea what I’m talking about…but I press on.

OK…fine.  We’ve admitted we’re afraid of something…what’s next?  It’s time for more questions like:

What is keeping me in this sad spot…or angry spot…or even this bored spot?  (I’ve been in the sad spot lately for those of you keeping score.)  Am I afraid of something?  I am?  What?

Which leads to the ultimate question:

Am I going to take action?

Am I going to take steps to go up/over/through this mess no matter how much it upsets my current life situation?  If so then I need to start moving in that direction right now…because I only have :30 seconds and the clock is ticking.  Decide and go…you know?

Or Not?

I could also do nothing and live where I am.  It’s an option and no less brave than the former because I weighed my options and made my own choice.  Yes…all by myself.  (I’m a big boy now.)    If that’s my decision then I need to accept that not much will change and I need to put it out of my mind and move on to other things.  (In theory of course.  Putting it into practice sure isn’t that easy but I’m working on it.)

Clearly this is a dynamic dance that seems to have no clear beginning or end…but that’s us in a nutshell so why fight it.  Checking in with our fears is like taking a little breather from life’s marathon.  It allows us to step out of our story for a little while and see things from a different perspective.  That is a bad-ass move and one that I intend to take more often…as hard as it may be.  So I’m not going to ignore fear anymore because I respect it…and I’m telling you…it’s not here to hurt us.

Tags: Courage, Facing Fears, Lifes journey, Self Development