A quick thought off the top of my head: Sometimes all we can (should) do is chill…and allow things to unfold the way they will.
That’s some modern-day hippie wisdom right there. I don’t have the hair…the psychedelic drugs…or a funked out VW van…but my “wave” has been a peace sign forever…so that gives me little “cred” I think.
Allowing is not easy for us, is it? Doing what you can…and then letting life happen takes patience and trust…both of which are in short supply these days. I’m coming to see that allowing is a courageous act…which is interesting because people that live this way are often regarded as weak…or passive…when what they really are is brave and self-assured. How many of us can say we’re living our :30 Seconds in a brave, self-assured, accepting way? I think it’s another something we can all learn…to chill out…and allow when we need too.
Somehow that just reminded me of the famous prayer by Saint Francis of Assisi:
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
If I may be so bold, I would like to add one thing to this:
I think we need courage not just to change things…but to NOT change them as well.
Some things…situations…people…cannot be changed…no matter how much we want it to be otherwise. To accept that…and live in serenity and patience despite the belief that we deserve more…is an act of bravery.
Maybe start small: don’t cry over spilled milk (literally)…or freak because the hot jeans you were going to wear at tonight’s party don’t fit…or lose your head after a fender bender. What’s done is done…and what is happening is happening. Remember St. Francis’ prayer…chill out…and let some things be what they are. (Some advice from the top of my head.)
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You may as well be talking directly to me. I stress probably (way) too much and try to pretty much change anything I can. haha It’s so frustrating yet sort of a relief at the same time when you realize you can’t do anything about it so you have to let it go. I found that I stress less when I stop worrying so much about all the little things I cannot change. Nice post Andy.
Thanks for the compliment on the post, Sandi. Letting go sure is tough sometimes, isn’t it? But…for some things it’s all we can do. (Worry…oy. I know all about that…)
Take care…
A
My mom has had that prayer hanging in our house–the bathroom, to be exact, just to be sure you see it EVERY time you sit down!!–ever since I can remember. So easily said . . . until you find yourself in a situation where you don’t know the difference . . . or you think you SHOULD have control over a situation . . . us control freaks don’t do so well with that prayer!!! Thanks for the reminder, Andy
Glad I could remind you of that, Angie. (Cute story, BTW.) And let me know if you have any pics that could apply to some of my articles. I’d post ‘em if they seem to match…
Thanks!
A
Great post and approach! I like how you added a line to the quote
and you are so right, acceptance is key, but there is also a fine line between being passive and perceptive, and being indifferent. Only the feelings can guide us right. And one thing is true, we CAN change how we feel about circumstances. I believe you are doing a damn good job just keeping the blogging going!! Hugs!
Helen…thanks! Yes…we absolutely CAN change how we feel about circumstances…or at least how we react to them. SO much easier to sit and feel sad…sort of. Though after a while that is draining…hence the blog. Stay cool…
Best,
A
I love what you said here, am very much trying to live that way these days.
And hope you don’t mind if I correct you, but that prayer (commonly known as the Serenity Prayer) is said to be written by Reinhold Niebuhr. The St. Francis prayer is also good:
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
Barbara…thanks for pointing out the error in my post. I feel a little stupid…but it seems St. Francis has been collecting the royalties on Herr Niebuhr’s work for quite some time;)
Thank you for post St. Francis’ prayer. I wonder what it would be like if we lived like that?
Take care…sorry for the mistake…and thanks again for liking my stuff. (I hope it helps BTW.)
A
Andy, I love your stuff! I am not the type of person that usually goes around correcting others, that feels so uncomfortable to me, but both those prayers have helped me a lot so I knew the authors.
I am up at 5:51 without sleeping. Insomnia sucks.
Your blog is more than a blog to me, its a haven of rest and wisdom.
Correct away! I have no problem whatsoever…so you don’t have to feel uncomfortable w/me. I don’t mind if people have a problem with what I say either. (OK…sometimes I feel a little stupid…) Really…so many of us are going through some sort of “not good” somethings…and these are just my lessons…which I hope will help all of us grab our life here and live it well.
A haven of rest and wisdom? That is really nice of you to say. I’m glad it is that for you, Barbara. Very glad…
Barbara: that is a beautiful prayer! And Andy: don’t you think it states a lot of what is written in CWG? Did you read all three yet? You should write something about them! But I know, there is almost too much in them to even try to summon.
Serenity to you both!
I only read the first one. I’m so lazy…I haven’t purchased the other 2 yet…but I really should. (Oddly enough I’m reading Kahlil Gibran right now…ever since your post…). I have no doubt I’ll read the others and what it says will come through in future Thirty Seconds posts. Thanks for the prodding…
Andy, Thank you is all I can say! If you only knew how much this blog helps!
BTW, This is one of my favorite prayers… I find that gives me some peace everytime I pray it.
Keep smiling
Ev
I guess I don’t know how much this blog helps…but man am I glad you said so. Thank you for that. (It helps me too…)
I’ll keep smiling Evelyn
A
Andy thank you for your very wise thoughts.
Sometimes surrendering,to what we can’t change seems too scary, but it is the most freeing experience you can have. Even knowing that I sometimes get too caught up in the drama the of what needs to be done next, to let go. Baby steps sometimes,but as long as I keep moving forward I will get there.
Yesterday I spent the day talking with someone who really needed a friend. And some direction, I believe he would get alot from your words. I think I will send him this site info. Thanks again Andy and keep writing.
Mary
And thank YOU for reading. Yes…please send him the info or even forward the emails if you get the posts in your email. I will keep writing…and I also agree…surrendering to what we can’t change is scary…but it’s probably the best course of action…
Thanks again!
A
Andy -
I’m just catching up on blog posts, and just wanted to say how truly sorry I am about your wife’s passing.
When thinking of those in my life who have gone before me, I find comfort in Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18….
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.
Molly
Thank you for this, Molly. I love it…and can why it helps when it comes to something like death. I hope you have a great day/weekend…and thanks for stopping by again!
Best,
AK