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What a day. Emotions everywhere…mostly saddish. I got an email from the Milwaukee Affiliate of Susan G. Komen asking if it would be OK for them to honor Laura at the Affiliate Leadership Conference in Dallas. I said yes of course…with a mixture of sadness and pride.
For whatever reason that put me in a funk for much of the day. I went home early to greet the kids after school only to find my youngest daughter had a tough day too. She wanted to cry to me…and of course I let her…and I’m sure you can guess what that did for my spirits. It’s really sad here sometimes.
Book ‘em…
We needed to run to the local bookstore to pick up a gift for one of her little friends who is celebrating her 8th birthday this weekend. (Isn’t this riveting? I promise…it gets better.)
It’s you standard local bookstore that is bucking the odds of survival with good old fashioned customer service. They get you what you want if they don’t have it…call you when your order is in…throw in a couple of free bookstamps…and recommend books through conversation instead of static signage. I love bookstores anyway…but this one is just warm and local and Dennis the manager clearly LOVES what he does.
There happened to be a group of about 20 people sitting on folding chairs facing a makeshift podium. Tonight was poetry night. Dennis shouted nice and loud, “Maybe we can get Andy Koehn to read his book tonight!” I politely declined. I wrote that book for my kids when we were knee deep in the cancer thing…and I flat out didn’t want to do it. Me…the “live in the present moment” guy was lost in his funk. I promised I would do it in the future, paid for her Webkinz, and headed for the door.
From the Mouths of Babes…
And then my 8 year old daughter…the very same one who was intensely grieving just hours before…looked up at me and said, “I’ll do it, dad.” And so she did. It was almost heroic. (At least to me.)
When she finished reading I kissed her and told her that mom would be proud of her…and I was proud of her too. She was smiling the way all 8 year old little girls deserve to smile. I was smiling too.
Teach Your Parents Well…
She reminded me of something that I know but forget all too often:
Be in whatever moment you happen to be in…even if it’s a sad one…and move on when you’re done.
She saw what I didn’t because she was IN that bookstore…while I was wandering around in my head. What did she see? An opportunity to share something good from her life with other people. That’s really all it was. Isn’t that enough?
Of course, you left me in tears. Thank God for kids. Sometimes they’re more insightful than we could ever be! I can barely read your book to my class without becoming emotional! What a brave, beautiful little Anna!!! Love you guys.
Thanks Angie. Kids really are insightful…and definitely a pain sometimes. We can learn a lot from them…like they learn from us. (For example…like learning to sit still and not ask meaningless questions while someone is trying to respond to a friend on their blog…)
Paaahahaha! Believe me, teaching them every day…I see that “other” side WAY too often! Makes me really appreciate the sweet stories like this one!
That’s just beautiful, Andy. Thank you.
Of course, Diane. Thank YOU…
Hmmm…found my self in the same sad spot yesterday, maybe it was decorating the house..not sure. And this morning as Grace is decorating the ginger bread house with her friend, I find myself in tears, quietly….and I know that is okay, part of the process. Time to wipe them away and put on festive music and be with the kids….because joy is also always there when I want to tap into it, when I get out of the past and into the beauty that is around me. Thanks Andy, and tell Anna thank you too…..
Sorry to hear that, Meg. I really am. I wonder why we get so sad…and start thinking so much about what we DON’T have instead of what we DO have. It’s so strange. (You may not be thinking that way…but it occurs to me that’s why I was in that down frame of mind.) Thanks for sharing. I’ll let Anna know. (I’ve shared some of the FB thank you’s and I’m not sure she knows what to make of it. Another kid thing probably. “Why would someone thank me for just reading a book?”)
Take care…
Excellent advise for any of us about living in the moment – but leaving the negative ones as soon as we’re done. A very tender day you had. Thinking of you and your family. Life’s been a bit crazy for me, I’ve missed your blog but am catching up.
I’m glad to see you back, Barbara. It’s hard to keep up with other people’s blogs…I’m kind of sucking at it. I know life’s crazy for you…and I’m glad you’re charging ahead. Got to, ya’ know?
Kid are definitely resilient, their casual spontaneity is always heartwarming. Thanks,
Hey Kathi! Thanks for reading…and we need more spontaneity. (Though I’ve been accused of being a little too spontaneous once in a while…)
Andy-I’m so ignorant I wasn’t even aware you wrote a book. How can I get a copy? Roaming around in one’s head is not a good place to be. I try to spend as little time there as possible.
Yeah…the roaming around in my head thing…I struggle with that ALL the time. We can be our worst enemy sometimes.
Don’t worry about not knowing about the book. It’s a children’s book. Here’s a link. You can read it for FREE…and if you buy a copy I donate money to Komen.
http://www.thirtyseconds.us/?p=372
Thanks for stopping by!
Andy–
Your daughter’s reading of “Some Days”–though it came at the start of our poetry session–was the emotional highlight of the evening. You should be immensely proud of her.
What you write about living in the moment should be a lesson for everyone–even those who have not experienced the loss of a loved one.
I’m glad I found your blog; I’ll keep checking in!
Take care,
Dennis
Thanks for the generous comments about the store.
Hey Dennis!
I’m glad you found it too. Anna didn’t think it was any big thing…and I AM proud of her. It was great of you to ask me/her to read. It was the emotional highlight of our day as well. (Probably me more than her…)
Love your place. Hey locals…it’s called Fireside Books.
Take care, Dennis.
well said.
it seems it takes a life time to learn some things we knew by nature before we grew-up.
wherever i go – there i am.
Man is THAT ever true! Taking a lifetime to learn what knew…
Why do we think so much? Oh that’s right…because we want to control everything and have be OUR way or no way…
Thanks so much!